Is Royalskienz still royal?

Over the past few months I’ve been pondering the same question again and again... Is the Royalskienz group that I created three years back, still the same group? Or has it lost priority in our lives? A better was to put forward the question is to ask- ‘Have we all changed? And has our approach to all our childhood friends changed?’ Frankly speaking I feel that we are more interested in individual contacts than in group. The same question was put up by Prashant when we met last month.

The truth is- even back in 12^th class, we had all our own individual contacts and priority friends among us, but what changed now is the fact that now, the even the little connection that we had created with our not so priority friends has reduced. This has resulted in a group which is connected though separate strands here and there; and not a complete inter connected network as it used to be earlier.

20/06/2010

The biggest change that I find in myself is the shift in attitude towards ‘love’. Over the last few years I used to see myself totally dedicated and sacrificed in love. But now, suddenly I find myself in an ocean full of doubts-‘what should I do?’, ‘how to approach life?’, ‘where will I reach?’ and ‘what is my destiny?’. The answers are nowhere and the person who should’ve given the solution is further twisting the scenario. Suddenly I feel I’m totally alone, the shadow of uncertainty hovers around me. Slowly I ask myself- “Will I be living for long?” It’s true I’m losing my zing to live. Life seems more like a burden than an opportunity. It was then I saw a documentary on Boltzmann (the same person famous for the Boltzmann Constant). He was an exceptional physicist and a great thinker. He went on a holiday trip to a shore in Vienna. He liked the place and the ambience of the palace he was living in, so much so that he ‘hung’ himself inside the palace when his family had gone out. Before dying, he quoted as saying: “I want time stop for me” and he was lucky that he could stop his time at a place that he liked the most...